Redemption Time.....Sort of

Heather, can you please grow a pair!!!!!

Can you please explain to the people you’re angry at, why the hell you’re angry!

I came close this weekend:

My Grandfather on my dad’s side “Papa” passed away on 2/7/09. RIP Papa.

While attending the memorial service on Friday 2/13/09, I got a chance to see all the Davis relatives I haven’t seen in decades. In an attempt to make up for lost time, my father and I made small chit chat and he tried his best to make up for his 20-ish year absence from my life. What comfort am I supposed to feel when my absent father tells me he knew what a horrible mother I had? How is telling me that he used to hate the way she treated me supposed to make up for the fact that he left me alone with her?!

“The way she used to hide from you in department stores, the way she would keep a running count of how many times you’d be spanked when we got home from where ever we were, and the lies she told us.”

Now someone please explain to me how seeing eye to eye on what a horrible mother I grew up with is supposed to give me any sort of relief or even know that my father loved me????? I actually feel worse. I could have lived with not knowing that he knew, because now I know that he left me with her knowing I was suffering and CHOSE to leave me to fend for myself. An innocent child! What kind of father does that? If (Heaven forbid) I ever treated my own children the way my mother treated me you had better believe Rick would be in court fighting with all his mite that they be removed from my care!

Anyway, back to my story, dear old dad had the nerve to tell me how proud he was of what an amazing woman I had turned into despite my childhood.

My response: “Yeah, you know who you have to thank for that? Keiko and Janet. (My aunt and Foster mom) Because no one else in my family did anything to help!”

I don’t know if it hurt him to hear that, but in all honesty, I don’t care. It’s the truth! And sometimes, the truth hurts.

Life

Who would have thought that in twenty eight years of trying not to become my mother, I would still end up following in some of her footsteps? Becoming as dependant on a man who doesn't care about my happiness as she was? How did I get to this place in my life? Why do I care about his happiness when he could care less about mine? Let me say this......Once I'm done with school and have a career that can afford me the life I want for me and the kids.....I will focus on my happiness and things are most certainly going to change.

FINALLY!!!

I finally got the notice from the bank and my financial aid for the 08-09 school year is complete. OH and the loan documents from the bank show my expected graduation date....July 14, 2012....SO MARK YOUR CALENDARS!!! The day we all thought would never come is just a little less than four years away....and I want all the people I love to be there!!!

Helen the felon strikes again.....

Okay, so a couple of days ago I get a phone call....

"Hello, may I please speak with Heather Arroyo?"

"This is she....."

"Heather, this is Brandy from Wells Fargo. I'm calling about your mortgage loan with us. It is in default. We have sent you numerous notices blah, blah, blah...."

HOME LOAN? What freakin home loan? I don't own a home, I'm not planning to own one anytime soon......When, where, how did this happen?

Then yesterday Prudential calls:

"I'm calling about your Visa card...."

"I don't have a prudential Visa"

"This is Heather Arroyo? I'm showing a visa with a $100k limit. The balance is close to $9k, and there have been no payments made....ever"

"Okay so where was the credit card sent? "

Freakin lady gives me my mom's address.......

Who does this to their own child????

Almost done

So after my last post, I finally spoke to my academic counselor. Turns out they only needed an amended tax return to complete my financial aid. After all that worrying and basically throwing away my straight A's all I needed was to redo my taxes. I am kind of pissed off about the entire situation, but I cannot dwell on it.

I resumed classes and turned in all my late assignments. Unfortunately, my professors couldn't accept all my make up work because school policy prohibits any assignments later than four days. I've been told that the highest grade I can earn is a B in both classes. That sucks! But I suppose I should just be happy I passed.

Anyway, final projects are due on Sunday (my 28th birthday) and my new classes start on Monday (Dawn's 29th Birthday) I am not really looking forward to my next block of classes because one of my classes is Essay Writing.....I am not the least bit good at writing essays. I never have been. Hopefully this course teaches me a thing or two that prove valuable especially since my courses will just get more and more difficult as I get closer to my MBA.....

Ok now I'm scared.

Diet update: I've lost 35 pounds total.....

discouraged beyond belief

Never fails! I get things going in the right direction, FINALLY! Then BOOM something comes along and messes it all up!
School was going great! I was ace-ing my classes....Then low and behold financial counselor calls me to let me know that I have been denied financial aid, and if I want to continue to my next block of classes, I will need to pay the $2k to cover the first two classes. Yeah cuz I have money like that just sitting around! Seriously! Then the girls and their dance classes. I was sooo proud of them when they audtitioned for the performance classes and were invited to participate, but then they give the first bill on 8/20 and tell me it's due by 9/1.....Yeah okay again like I have an extra $1400 just sitting around. I hate money....I hate having to deal with money, and I hate not having any of it!!!!

update....Grades

COM140 (Contemporary Business Communication) 92.69%
GEN104 (Skills for Learning in an Info age) 99.03%

YES!!!!!

And I'm halfway there!!! In my 9 week session, I just finished the 4th week.....My next set of classes are Effective Essay Writing (GEN150) & Critical Thinking (CRT205) and they start on 9/15/08. Hopefully for my birthday I get a grade report with straight A's.....